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I have been friends with a woman, a person who's faced and conquered many challenges, her resilience is commendable. However, she's constantly blindsided in relationships. Her partner walked away, and it was a huge shock. Many of her social circle drifted away during that time, as they were only interested in her husband. This surprised her. She made more effort to be my friend, likely understood better the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

In the time since, quite a few close to her have drifted apart without her being sure why. Her last employer became hostile, despite the fact that she had been highly competent, her exit happened without knowing the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Recently, both of us left the workforce leading to more each other more, however, I feel my position in the relationship is as the audience. I start discussion points and she changes them to what interests her. In terms of politics, she expresses unyielding views. My effort is to propose double-checking information and alternate views.

She has been planning a trip abroad I've visited many times and lived in previously. My intention was to offer personal experiences, but this was not welcomed. She purely solely sought me to confirm her decisions. I have ended a month in that country and she wants to meet, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to be a friend who cuts and runs without a word, but I don't think she'll truly understand the impact of how she acts on my self-esteem. Currently, I find myself in pulling back. What's the best step?

Ways Forward

You could end things abruptly, however, that approach is not often the peaceful resolution we hope for. But confrontation with the goal of resolution takes courage and openness on both your parts.

Experts suggest using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one requires explaining how things go when you talk. It should be objective and clear and basically what a recording device would replay. Next is to express how this makes you feel. There should be no dispute about this. Your feelings are your feelings, of course. Step three is to question ways you together will alter the pattern of your friendship."

Consider that she also has a point of view, meaning you must to be prepared to hear that. One effective method is telling to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's remarkably successful to encourage understanding.

Closing Considerations

This person could ignore everything, since certain individuals cling to a self-protecting mindset: they have a story regarding their experiences they won't release because their very survival is tied to it and it's all familiar to them. This poses a challenge because there's no clear path with these people, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might start out like this before reflecting on your words. And should you don't achieve an agreement, it provides peace that you've been honest with her.